The Books you will never read


Books. I wrote one. So, you all know, I have released The Internal Monologue. Its been out since December 2018, and it actually sold more than one copy! Its received consistent praise from the people who have read it, and it has been great. 

I have already alluded to it when I announced the book that the book wasn’t the first book I tried to write. I have tried to write various books, and all of them were in various stages of planning, writing, or development. So, for this post, I want to talk about those books that never were in more detail:

Doctor Stratovarious and the Doomsday Machine

When I was 15, I wanted to write a children’s adventure novella. Something that would impress people. If I was to write and publish a book before I turned 16, then people would look at me and say ‘This is amazing’. That’s why I wanted to write Doctor Stratovarious. The plot synopsis: A Scientist and his niece travel by zeppelin to stop a weapon being used to violently end an ongoing war. There would have been revelations: A dead brother, the weapon being made by Stratovarious, evil politicians, steampunk stuff.

Alternate history steampunk adventure novel, it would have been great. You used to be able to read Stratovarious’ completed chapters on its own website, but I deleted it, because of shame. Stratovarious was dreck. The writing was really poor, and the pacing is so off. I never completed it, but I did try rewriting it once. Ultimately, It’s one of those books that got close to working, but didn’t.

Book Z

Unofficial working title for this one, as I never even started writing Book Z. Book Z was going to be my pot shot at John Green. One of my early reviews on If you ask me was one of ‘The Fault in Our Stars’. I loved that book a few years back. I eventually collected all of John Green’s books, and I found there to be a lot of tropes. The protagonists are all outsiders, the main deuteragonist is this weird, but conventionally hot kid, there’s a comedic sidekick. So, where is the natural evolution of the ‘John Green trope’? Zombie apocalypse.

Book Z’s plot is based in Liverpool. It’s a few years after a zombie apocalypse, and the zombies are dying out. The North of England has become a refuge, and one of them is a young woman from Kings Lynn. The story is a bog standard coming of age romp, with an apocalyptic background. There’d be a road trip, romance, underage drinking, school stuff, and deep nothingness about life. Out of the books I wanted to write, I would still write Book Z.

Book Z never got wrote because I had no time for it. I was busy with college, and the young adult novel thing was dying down. 50 Shades of Grey was becoming big when I was in college, and I had no motivation to continue with it. I announced it on the blog, but I regret doing so. It seemed like an attention grab.


Hell (Working title) was another project. I was watching a lot of the old 80’s fantasy films when I was 16 and 17, and it influenced a lot of things, like my early poetry. Hell was going to be about a child who travels to find his friend, who died in a car accident and finish a board game they were working on together. Think Coco, but not Mexican. This was well before that film was released, so no one plagiarised anything (though why they would steal from a British teenager is silly to think about. So we won’t).

The book has never been planned or written, but it’s an idea that’s stuck in my head for ages. It evolved, from an Alice in Wonderland clone where a character went through a fantasy world with her dead parents, to something that was a bit more original.


This one actually did go into planning, and was based on Attack on Titan, mixed with Dastardly and Muttley in their flying machines. STOP THE PIGEON!


I loved that show as a 3 year old. Still do. Anyway…Hellraisers was going to be a futuristic comic or manga series. Western democracy basically dies, and good chunks of Europe are irradiated, or under dictatorship. The USA is dead too. So, a group of 20 something pilots, flying customised old spitfires, fight these dictator’s forces. They parachute propaganda, supplies, and try to bring up prisoner’s morale.

Hellraisers is one of my favourite ideas, because it had some good drama behind it. But, because of the lack of time and the lack of a willing artist, this project fell on deaf ears and I eventually abandoned it. I did make a map though, on how Europe would look in 34 years from now:

From one of the books you'll never read.
That’s a mad map.

The Books you’ll never read

So, why bother to share these unfinished, half baked projects? Well, mainly to show that it wasn’t effortless to release a book. These were all trial and error projects while I wrote my poetry. It wasn’t until I got to 100 poems I considered writing a book with my poems. You will always have good ideas, but 99% of them will be films, albums, TV shows, magazines, brands, or books that you’ll never see. So, if you’re working on a project, don’t put everything into it if you think you cannot complete it. Because the likelihood is that you won’t.

Related Posts & External Links

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Book announcement, guys!

I’m writing a Book

About the author


Since 2012, Benjamin Attwood has written for the If you Ask Ben blog.

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