A message to the future


I scheduled to post this on the 11/2/15. Why? Because that is my cousin’s due date. She is having a little baby. And after seeing her a few days ago, she is ready to pop!

This baby is likely to be a big part of My year, as documented on my ‘2015: My Year’ post. Not only does it symbolise an end of an era, but it starts a new one. This baby is the first of the next generation of our family, and my generation have finally grown up, Lucy and Luke being 19, and Simon being 21 now, and I am nearly 18, and my younger brother, Sam, going to Secondary School in September of this year. This baby is the first in a generation. And as such, I shall impart some wisdom upon him (yeah, the baby is gonna be a boy) from one generation to another…

Hi there, kiddo. It’s Uncle Ben here! I am not the rice mascot, nor am I your real uncle. I just like the sound of being an Uncle (And Mum said it was OK for me to be your Uncle Ben, so it’s great). You, being a baby, are a miracle. You started off as a single cell, which over a series of 9 months, slowly but surely became a human being. And now, you’re out of the prison, welcome to earth. You do look like your mum and dad to be honest. Though to be fair, I cannot tell. You newborns always look similar when you are born. Bruised, red faced potatoes.

So, what I am writing for? Well I am giving you some helpful tips. Because, as your first cousin once removed, I know some stuff about life. I was a baby once too. So, I can hopefully give you some tips on how to be a great baby, and a great human being.

1. You have a power. You can control people’s emotions. Use it wisely. You can make people laugh AND cry. And that is scary powerful. And you have that power. And that doesn’t go away. You can make people feel loads of emotions with what you do, your actions, your thoughts, even your own emotions can make people feel something. Use that power carefully. Because it IS powerful. Be careful and use it to your advantage.

2. Respect your Mum and Dad. When they had you, they were pretty young. I say pretty young, really REALLY young. If I were them, I would be panicking like crazy. I’m sure they did a lot of panicking too, getting everything ready for you. But you know what, they got ready for you. And now you’re here, they’re gonna do a great job (well they WILL do a great job, because they’ve got some awesome support from your aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.). So, don’t argue with your mum or dad. Just because they didn’t buy you the latest game for the Playstation 6 or whatever doesn’t mean they love you any less.

3. Don’t draw on walls. I made that mistake. Got shouted at like crazy. You’d think I’d killed the goldfish (And don’t kill goldfish). If you feel creative, draw on paper.

4. Eat your greens. Your green M&M’s, your green haribo, your green chewing gum (spearmint is my favourite), green radioactive waste like on The Simpsons etc. But, seriously, eat what you’re given. And I know I am fussy, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to copy me. Don’t copy my style, kiddo.

5. Remember, this is the most important thing. You are special. Somewhere, you will click. You will find your hidden talent one day, you will make loads of friends, find a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you will do so well in life. Remember this, if you ignore everything I wrote for you (which is rude). You are a baby. With so much possibility, and potential. You have an infinite number of routes to choose. It isn’t the case of picking the best route in life, but the right route. If you want to work in McDonalds, then you do it!

Good luck, Lucy. You’ll be a great mum. I just know it.

About the author


Since 2012, Benjamin Attwood has written for the If you Ask Ben blog.

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